When You Think A Small Act Has A Small Impact..Think Again

I wanted to share a personal story today, in hopes to inspire even the smallest acts of kindness. Small things mean a lot to me, but I believe this is true for everyone- even those who don’t, won’t, or can’t admit it. There are moments every single day where I find myself reminiscing about a compliment someone gave me, a small way someone showed me kindness, or maybe even reflecting on something kind I did for someone else. It’s true when they say that being kind and helping others does indeed help you as well. I feel extremely blessed to say that I am surrounded by kind, compassionate, caring and selfless people. As expected, these are mostly my close family and friends; and I acknowledge that many people unfortunately do not have a strong network. But….if you have kind people in your life, it is not really too much of a surprise when they do kind things for you, right? Of course it should always be appreciated and reciprocated when possible, but it does not usually shock me that the people I love and who love me are kind to me. 

What surprises me is when a complete stranger does something kind for me. Yes, I appreciate a door being held, a “please” and “thank you” or maybe lending a free hand while I juggle 2 kids, 4 bags of various sizes, 3 water bottles, endless toddler snacks, and usually several kids toys. I will most likely remember these moments and be grateful. But there are some acts of kindness that have been shown to me that stick with me, that I reflect on often, and that have left a very lasting impact on me. I want to share one with you today, to emphasize that something that may be easy or small to you can mean the world to the other person. It is also worth it.

Some backstory: In 2021, my mom was diagnosed with Ovarian cancer. Apparently, she had numerous tumors on her ovaries for over 30 years, and no one knew. Pretty crazy, right? Luckily, it was extremely slow growing, which is probably why it went undetected for so long. She went through several rounds of chemotherapy, which she was able to tolerate well as it was a low dose. This was a blessing, because she is the main caretaker of my dad, who has been living with Parkinson’s Disease for about 15 years. When she is out of commission, my dad needs someone to step in, and that person is usually me. I am more than glad to do it, but since we do not live together, he heavily relies on my mom. Anyway, it was determined that my mom would need laparoscopic surgery to remove the tumors. It should have been a simple procedure with a one night hospital stay. Unfortunately, the tumors were very calcified and hard to remove, and during the surgery, her colon was perforated. This was not discovered until hours later, when my mom had started going septic. She was texting me a series of nonsensical numbers and letters, and we realized something was not right. She ended up with an emergency surgery to repair the tear, and ended up in the ICU. Of course, my dad and I were panicking, and I quickly packed my things to take care of my dad, with my 9 month old and husband in tow, while we tried to figure out next steps. My dad was unable to visit the hospital, COVID was on a rise in Phoenix, my husband was working 60+ hours a week, and I was the only one to care for my dad’s needs, my baby, and help figure out my mom’s care. It was extremely stressful, but I will say that in the moment, you just do what needs to be done. 

Luckily, my mom only stayed a couple of nights in the ICU, but there is nothing like seeing such a strong, capable, independent woman on a trach, unable to talk, unaware of what even happened or why she was there. She ended up being moved out of ICU, and had several more surgeries and a three week stay, with some scares along the way. I visited daily, and made sure to bring some treats for the nurses that were so very kind to my mom. Our neighbors rallied together to drop off some meals for my dad and stopped in to check on him while I was at the hospital. To say we were relieved and blessed is an understatement. I am so glad they have a caring community to lean on in unexpected times such as these.

One day during my mom’s long hospital stay, I went to a park with my son, another mom friend and her twin boys, and a third mom. She joined with her son, just a month younger than my own. She and my friend met through a workout class for moms a couple of months before, and they hit it off. It was a nice break from juggling work and my parents for a little bit and get some fresh air and conversation while the boys played. 

During our time at the park, it came up that my mom was in the hospital and I was caring for my dad while she was there. Side note….those days of being able to set up a blanket with babies who are not quite mobile and have a full conversation with another mom are long gone and sorely missed! It was probably two minutes of conversation out of two hours, and that was it. Later that day, the other mom, who I had never met before, texted me to exchange contact information and asked for my parents’ address, where I was staying.

The next day, I went outside to find a homemade breakfast casserole and some other treats, with a note for cooking and a name: Brenna. I could not believe that this woman, a full time working mom of a baby, who lived pretty far from my parents, dropped everything, and managed to put together a home-made meal and hand deliver it. I know, it may not seem like the most wild act of kindness ever…but it didn’t need to be. A stranger, who had no obligation to me at all, and had no insight into my or my family’s situation apart from the quickest of overviews, who did not know the extent of the stress or emotions I was experiencing, went out of her way to go above and beyond. 

Luckily, my mom was later discharged and I became her pseudo-nurse at home, helping with her wound vac and IV infusions, and in time she made a complete recovery. A rough couple of months passed and we are so grateful that everyone made it through together.

Today, Brenna and I are great friends. I attended her wedding last year in Montreal, and one of the first things I told her parents when I met them was how much that moment of kindness from their daughter stuck with me. I often think about the kindness she showed a stranger, and try to replicate that with others whenever I can. The most unexpected gesture really and truly exemplified the impact one can have on another, and that years later, someone may look back on an act you did with complete gratitude and awe. Sure, it may be awkward or a huge step out of your comfort zone, but it will not go unnoticed. Someone will look back at that moment and be nearly (or literally) moved to tears that you saw them and cared for them, when you didn’t need to. 

If we look out for one another and notice people around us, I think that we will see how much of a ripple effect one person can have. Do something kind for another. Tell someone how much it meant to you when they did something for you. It is always worth it and the impact is long, long lasting.

Hopefully you have a multitude of beautiful acts of kindness in your life. I would love to hear about one of them and what it meant to you. Feel free to leave a comment with your story below!